Thursday, August 13, 2009

Somebody get me a rooftop...

Because I'm shoutin' praises to my King!!!!!

Just got home from taking the girly girls to the pool and there was a message from a number I didn't know. I dialed in to listen the message and could hardly remain standing. The director of the preschool I loved who did not hire me in favor of their current employee was calling to tell me that her pre kindergarten teacher of 13 years had just let her know that she was leaving. She said she had been upset to not have been able to offer me the 4 day position earlier, but had thought I was a superstar and would be pleased if I would accept an offer to come on board as a five day lead teacher!!! I had just finnished listening to the message when she called back. I switched over and after giving her a resounding YES said, "Let me tell you about my day and my faith journey..." It was an awesome conversation. I go in Wed. for some prelim training (and she said to bring the girls and we'll let them play in an adjoining classroom if I can't find care). The schedule fits perfectly in with my kids. I'll be able to put them on and off the bus and the preschool is closed all the same days as the public schools, but I still get paid!! I'm still shaking. I haven't been able to reach my husband, but I called my parents and told them to get on the speaker phone- were they ready to hear a miracle!! I've never felt like I have had much of a testimony, but wow, can I now personally proclaim God's faithfulness in a major way!

Thank you, dear bloggy friends who have followed me on this journey for all of your encouragement. I can't begin to let you all know how blessed I have been to have such amazing women of God lifting me up and offering biblically based support. You are all priceless. Thank you.

Wow! God is good!!


The ride continues

I'm not one for roller coasters. I remember the last time I was at Disney World, 1984, to be exact. My dad and brother picked me up and carried me into the line for Space Mountain. I'm willing to bet there was a lot of kicking and screaming, but I think I have blocked out those specifics. I was a skinny little thing who just completed the 4th grade and it was easy for them to commandeer me onto the ride. What I do remember is hating every moment of it. I don't like anything about the feeling you get in you stomach on roller coasters, and I especially didn't like anything about being in the darkness. My college friends got me on one years later in much the same fashion. They are not my thing.

I'm feeling like I'm on a roller coaster right now. This has been one darn summer. I've had a lot of downs, quite a few twists and turns, and when I recount my blessings, well, there has been a peak or two. The difference between this wild ride and a real roller coaster is that it's not just a thrill that has a start and finish and no lasting ramifications. This is life and I've got God firmly holding me in his grip. As I sense that I'm tumbling and spinning out of my human control I'm reaching out to grasp his extended hand. It's still a ride I'm not all that pleased to be on, but the security of knowing that I'm not alone and that my Father will see me through this experience helps me to face my fears. I'm learning a lot about myself, growing in my walk with Christ, and gaining confidence.

I remember being a bit more self confident when Space Mountain ended. I had made it through. I would not go as far as admitting it was fun, but I had survived the experience. I hope that at the end of this wild ride I can look back and see how I have grown and be more confident to face the challenges that are ahead.

I really struggled last night and this morning. I finally fell asleep at 3AM and was wide awake by 5AM. I need an income. Was this what He had set forth for me to do? Nothing about it felt right. I was starting to feel physically ill about the decision. I prayed- a lot! Was in His word- a lot! Sought counsel and ultimately decided to hopefully not completely burn the bridge, but tell the owner that I couldn't accept her offer at this point in time. I feel so much more peace now. This situation also brought on a tough conversation that needed to be had- and continue. I'm sensing that was perhaps the ultimate purpose behind this.

I found out about a new church based preschool/child care that is still under construction about 15 minutes away. They should open Sept. 8. I talked to the director and she said she is staffing, but only as enrollment comes in and it has been slow since the building still appears to be a construction site. She gave me the email address to their application (5 pages- very thorough- essay questions!!)and asked me to mail it to her P.O. box. That made me hesitate. I inquired about her time frame and she said she hoped that enrollment would jump as soon as they were open and she'd hire as needed. So I have spent a while completing the application and I still have a bit more to go and will get it out tomorrow morning. Maybe this could be a better fit? In the meantime I'm going to focus on my bow business and see what other things I could make and sell. I'm entering my high season and I have had a decent pick up in sales the past week. I'm crafty. It's an area where He has gifted me and I enjoy. Maybe with the girls in school I'd finally have time to turn it from a hobby into more of a business??

So, I'm still on the ride. Hopefully I'm nearing the end because, honestly, I'm really sick to my stomach at this point! But I'm not alone, He is firmly with me, and I know I'll make it through.


Wednesday, August 12, 2009


I had the interview today. Nothing about it felt right. No obviously red flags, but noting really positive besides it being a job. Poorly conducted interview, no substantitive questions asked. It was obvious they are looking for a body. They offered it to me on the spot. At that point she knew nothing about me other than I had experience. A lot of pressure to sign the contract on the spot (um, no.) She wants me to let her know by noon tomorrow and start training Friday. More of an impact to the Girly Girls than I am happy with and a low salary (expected- it's a chain day care facility). In my heart I feel that this can't be what He has planned for me. A lot to pray about.


Tuesday, August 11, 2009

An open window?

I had just had a pretty emotional prayer time by myself and the evidence of tears was still present on my face as I asked the girly girls to climb into my lap for some good night "rockey" in the rocking chair. They asked why I had been crying and I was able to have a wonderful teachable moment about prayer and not just thanking God in the roll call type of prayers they most often pray (Thank you God, for mommy, daddy, puppets...) but in how I was lifting my needs and concerns up to Him. We had a great conversation. Little Girly Girl was fully focused and, wow, she had some neat almost 5 year old insights.

After I put them to bed I sat down on the sofa by myself, turned on a praise and worship CD and grabbed my Bible. I didn't know where to turn and asked Him to direct me to a passage. I felt pulled to open Esther. I have been wanting to do the Beth Moore sudy, but haven't had an opportunity, and don't think I have ever read Esther in full before. As I read through the chapter and made my notes I was able to see many teachable moments. My summarizing note (I use a post it I stick in my Bible on the last page of the chapter) I wrote this: No matter how desperate our situation seems, God is in controll. He has used our circumstances and placed us where we are "for such a time as this." Never give up, even when all seems lost. Fast and pray. Seek God. Trust in Him for the deliverance we need. Take risks, be active. Allow God to use us. Know that God will step in when it will do the most good. Have faith, and when He is faithful act to remember His faithfulness and share testimony of His goodness.

This morning as I awoke I realized that I was not being active. I was waiting for the phone to ring, for God to have created a vacancy that I could interview for. I needed to continue to put myself out there, even to places whose doors appeared closed. So I wrote cover letter emails and sent the off with my resume to three preschools I was told were not hiring, just in case. Then I thought about a new child care facility not too far away. I looked up their website and it said they were hiring for two positions, one of which I'd be interested in. I wrote my letter and sent my resume and, just like before, in a matter of minutes the phone rang and they want me to come in for an interview immediately. I'm still pretty weak from the heat and fasting yesterday, so I said tomorrow would be best. I'm trying to contact my babysitter so I can call the assistant director back and set a specific time. My concern with day care was the hours because the facility is open 6:30-6:30 and the job posting didn't specify the job's hours. I inquired on the phone and she said that they were extremely flexible and could work around my schedule so that I could see the girly girls on and off the bus. Is this my open window, God?


Monday, August 10, 2009

Spending a day in His presence

I decided a few days ago to fast today. I need to seek His guidance, listen for his teaching, and ask for a mountain to be moved. When I woke up this morning I had the following email from the mom of a child in my daughter's preschool class two years ago whom I have seen in passing once in the last year.

"Trust in the Lord with all you heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."

May you know of God's love for you today!

Melissa ;-)

It might have been a forward, there was a decent amount of recipients. But I claimed it as a word spoken directly to me. I have "met" two new bloggy friends today who have offered encouragement and a favorite blog once again spoke His truth to my heart through the message posted. I've confessed, I've sought guidance, I've made my pleas known. I've been in His word, I've been on my knees. My kids have even been incredibly cooperative (not that common around here).

But that pesky Satan continues to strike. I've just had one huge downer of a phone call. There is some major tension in the air.

Yet I will continue to stand firm in my faith. I know nothing is impossible for my God! He is faithful and will see me through. I am drawing close and I will not give up!

We watched Facing the Giants The Giants with the girls last week. I keep remembering the overriding message- NOTHING is impossible for God.

Philippians 4:6
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Joshua 1:9
...Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Psalm 37:4,7
Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass ... Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him

Proverbs 3:5
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.

Isaiah 58:11
The Lord will guide you continually, and satisfy your needs in parched places, and make your bones strong, and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters never fail.


Friday, August 7, 2009

Pressing in

It's way too late for me to still be up, but I've been having a good night of blog reading that has ministered to me. Several of my favorite blogs (and a few new ones) so eloquently taught lessons I needed to learn or be reminded of tonight. We got home yesterday evening, back to the reality that I'm still burdened and stressed about not having a teaching job for the school year that starts in a few weeks. I never thought when I first applied to our then new county three years ago that teaching vacancies would be so rare. I know that He has something planned for me and our needs will be met and I'm trying to press into Him and His word instead of letting my emotional fears consume me. It's a constant choice to be made. It's far too easy to be anxious or worried or depressed. I'm writing down and trying to memorize scriptures that give me comfort and assurances to turn to when the fear creeps back. His plans are not mine, and I'm so glad about that! For now, I'll continue to wait, dig out my old teaching files and prepare so I'm ready if an opening does materialize, and be more and more in His word. I'm pressing in.


Sunday, August 2, 2009

Away for a bit

The girlies and I are on a house/dog sitting adventure at my folk's house. Been here for a few days and we have a few more left to go. They live in a tourist destination town, so we have had a lot to do. They have mostly enjoyed late nights of sister talk instead of going to bed, what they call "Giggle girls." I have enjoyed having cable TV to flip through. Just wanted to check in :)